Ex- England leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after learning he has the disease.
"There's something about facing the future and not wanting to completely absorb that at the present time," he said.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "calm" as he directs his attention to his immediate welfare, his family and getting ready for when the condition progresses.
"Perhaps that's shock or possibly I deal with matters uniquely, and after I have the details, it's easier," he stated further.
Initial Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some weakness in his shoulder while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the issue, a set of scans revealed nerves in his central nervous system had been affected by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly very affected about it, but it's so strange because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't sense sick
"The signs I have are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I remain competent to accomplishing all activities. And with luck that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Illness Progression
MND can advance quickly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a 33% of people within a 365 days and above half within two years of identification, as ingestion and respiration become more difficult.
Treatment can only delay deterioration.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," stated an emotional Moody.
"There's sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Consequences
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he mentioned breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two wonderful boys and that was rather devastating," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced cleaning the tears off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody explained the emphasis was staying in the present.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be so militantly focused on just welcoming and appreciating all aspects now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been really blessed that the primary decision I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much time with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those periods back."
Athlete Link
Elite athletes are disproportionately influenced by MND, with studies proposing the incidence of the illness is up to 600% elevated than in the general population.
It is thought that by reducing the O2 available and causing harm to neural pathways, regular, intense physical activity can activate the illness in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his brave, relentless approach to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a workout altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a practice gear and began participating in physical contacts.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the set piece in the crucial phase of play, establishing a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop kick.
Backing Network
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a few other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the present, just having that kind of care and acceptance that people are present is what's important," he stated.
"The sport is such a great group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your love your career, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a duration with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will desire to help in every way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
