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The Complainant: Her Argument

It's audible her gargling and spitting from my room. I have a gut reaction to it.

She has been roommates with Gina for 24 months, after they each went through separations and required a different home to live. Gina is fun and kind, but what annoys Raquel at home is her habit to brush her teeth around the house.

Gina has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and is frequently doing three tasks at once. She will misplace her keys in the door, which Raquel is concerned about, or forget where she placed her brush in the morning.

Raquel will come home and notice that Gina has left it on the side of the kitchen counter after using it, which I finds gross, because the kitchen is for cooking, not for oral hygiene routines. It’s where vegetables get cleaned and cups are washed. It isn't meant to be where Raquel glances and spots a bubbly residue of toothpaste dripping towards the drain.

There, she displays a further bad habit – she hydrates directly from the tap while cleaning her teeth. Rarely, infrequently, but four or five times a session to clean her mouth.

She leans over, sucks water directly from the tap, moves it around her mouth and expels it. I can listen to the entire process from the bedroom, and it triggers a strong response. I rest there and recoil. Wouldn't it be better to just use a container?

Raquel doesn't know if her mouth is touching the tap, but she doesn't want to know. It's the same faucet I employs when she washes my face and when she refills her water bottle.

I believes it's not me overreacting. It’s about hygiene, and acknowledging that shared spaces require mutual respect. Brushing your teeth should be limited to the bathroom sink, and done without converting the tap into a shared drinking fountain.

Gina has said that she'll try to cease, but whenever Raquel requests, she pauses for about a seven days and then carries on again.

Living with someone with ADHD is difficult at the easiest moments, but sometimes Raquel believes she uses it as an justification. I is not flawless, but if someone requests her to change something, I does try to consider it. Gina could try a little harder.

The Response: Gina's Perspective

Living with attention deficit is challenging, besides, the kitchen is not some untouchable food-only zone.

She argues that her roommate is exaggerating and missing the context. She sometimes cleans my teeth in the kitchen basin, sips from the bathroom faucet and leaves my stuff out of place, but that’s just a part of having a brain like mine.

Gina live with ADHD, and that means getting sidetracked frequently. In the morning before heading out, I will clean her teeth at the simultaneously as putting on her shoes, or preparing her lunch in the kitchen because I is multitasking.

The kitchen basin has running water and disposal just like the bathroom sink, and it all ends up in the identical pipes. It’s not, as she thinks, some sacred exclusive-use zone.

Gina rinses the basin post-use – she is not leaving spit lingering around. And, in fact, the kitchen basin probably gets cleaned more frequently than the bathroom sink. Gina also does not do this daily. It's only signs if I leaves her toothbrush on the side, which she ought not to do but her brain overlooks to return it sometimes.

Regarding the faucets, many people consume water from them. Gina was raised doing it. My brother and Gina would often clean their teeth like this. To Gina, it’s normal to clean your mouth out by sipping from the tap. Using a glass every time feels like unnecessary effort.

Gina does not put her entire mouth around the faucet, she just kind of hovers, or tilts the flow towards me and collects it. The way she pictures it, it’s like Gina is a cat with a saucer, licking it clean.

I likes to rinse properly, so she will take around multiple rinses, which might seem too much, but it means her teeth are clean.

Washrooms are not aseptic environments, and germs are all around. If not she is bleaching the tap daily, we’re both coming into contact with germs in the bathroom.

Coping with ADHD is difficult. Additionally, I could list things she practices that annoy Gina: each person has annoyances, but Gina accepts them because we share a home.

Gina can’t promise that she will change. I has attempted not to move about brushing my teeth, but I continues forgetting.

The Jury

Must Gina Cease Brushing Raquel’s Complaints Aside?

Several argue that Raquel should realise that housemates already share germs just by living together. Drinking from the tap is not unsanitary – although Gina sucked on it – because the liquid is on the interior of the pipe.

However it sounds as if Gina believes her ADHD gives her a free pass. She should acknowledge her discomfort and attempt to change her habits. Also, rinsing after cleaning your teeth washes away the fluoride – you should just spit.

Others suggest that her distaste at what she sees as innocuous habits is about beyond toothbrushing. If she changes her ways, Raquel will quickly find issue with something else.

It seems as if this living arrangement has reached its limit. She is right that in shared spaces we must make accommodations, but she is declining to accommodate a reasonable preference from her flatmate.

This is less about cleanliness than about consideration of limits. Using from the tap is acceptable, if there’s no physical mouth contact. But leaving a toothbrush on the kitchen sink is unacceptable – end of.

If Raquel can learn to adapt to her ADHD, she can show willingness to change. Moreover, not washing after cleaning my teeth means Gina will keep the advantages of the toothpaste and address two problems in one.

Now You Be the Judge

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